Running the race by Grace

huat ah! :)

2012-02-03T11:33:00.011+08:00

HUAT AH!! :) had a great time during CNY, packed but fun! :) :) met up with family, relatives, friends and friends and friends :) this is what CNY is all about kan? :)

CNY is not complete without Reunion dinner :)

Baby Reon in cheongsam :)

Reon: Hello?

:D loot at her gigi

Became local tourist for a day :) Fort cornwallis!

The chapel, i'm praying lah :p

with my dearest June kew at little india :)

Visited MBS too! Some teachers can still recognize us..wow. haha
also went to visit Pn.Wong and her new born baby :D

oh! and also our beloved maths teacher, Mr.Tan who is now retired and enjoying his life with the family :)

still have many pics, but lazy
to post up adee.haha
if you realize, i have been really lazy
to update my blog lately :p

colour blind

2012-01-16T00:02:00.004+08:00

:) this is sooooooo nice :) :)
very meaningful too! *not because i'm in love now or what okay*
but I'm just wondering.. since when we start categorizing ourselves?
Can you recall when was the first time you start being racist? and... Why?

2012-01-14T23:29:00.003+08:00

There are two ways to make yourself look good:

1. You are really really good
2. Make others look bad

Which one?

MERDEKA!

2012-01-13T21:36:00.003+08:00

merdekaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

phewwww! finally :) after one month of hard work.. :D
I can say that I've given my best
and I have no regrets :)
let God handle the rest.

BA NA NA

2012-01-10T21:53:00.005+08:00

If you are not a banana,

Have you ever wondered how a 'banana' feels?

What would it be like when everyone around you can speak their own 'language' while you can't? hmm..
And people labelled you as 'Banana!'
But of course, I'm not a teruk banana. I'm a good banana. At least I can speak, A BIT. and write, A BIT. haha
I don't like the feeling when after all my friends laugh about something then I ask them the meaning of the joke because I can't understand some chinese words. Sometimes I want to talk..like a lot but because of the limited vocab that I know, I choose to keep quiet and not embarrass myself.
And sometimes I don't know how to explain myselfffff..

BUT BANANA IS NOT GIVING UP!
I'm going to take up chinese language next semester! :D :D
and I'M EXCITED!

peel banana, peel peel banana!

wish me best for this week!
after this week, I'm done for this sem! :D
RAWRRR!

Skye Ong!

2012-01-06T22:52:00.007+08:00

Welcome Skye Ong to the big big family! :) Son of Terry Ong and Wong Siew Fee :) Big congrats to the couple!

Look at her, she's excited :) Now Reon has someone to play with! :) Her dad's cousin's son. heeee

How I miss this cheeky niece of mine :) can't wait to see her after my exams!

Bm paper tomorrow..gahhh
I seriously don't hate bm at all
I just can't tahan the exam :(

goodbye 2011!

2011-12-31T16:02:00.012+08:00

what a great and surprising way to end my 2011! :)

guess what I received today?? LIKE..TODAY! :)
I received a letter from God! hahahaa
not exactly but I just feel that it is REALLY FROM God :)

Remember the National Conference 2010? This afternoon, my mum passed a letter to me and I was surprised to receive this 'covenant' that I wrote to God last year in National Conference. I've almost forgotten about it. And when I read back what I've written, I was like "I wrote this?" Haha it is kinda long punya covenant :p

My very own words have encouraged me, so funny..
"It's hard to love others with a sincere heart, so Father, I ask for your heart."
"I want to transform lives and touch lives, not to convert."

I cannot believe that I wrote this too. Great reminder! Thank you, FES!

Many things that I've been through this year..ups and downs..there were times when I really really struggled..(only some of my close friends knew) but without all these, I won't grow.. "still living and learning"- quoting Jin.

Three words to sum up this year: God is Faithful.

:)
hello 2012.
I'm ready!

minggu membaca

2011-12-30T00:05:00.008+08:00

Spent most of my time in the room, studying. HEE--EEE---LP. I'm bored.

HAHAHAHAH
I need to LOL in order for me to..

CHILL!

2011-12-27T19:01:00.006+08:00

This will be my song, this will be my plea
that as I rend my heart and bow my knees
You'd restore intimacy

There will be a day

2011-12-27T10:29:00.001+08:00

There will be a day
When You will wipe away
Every tear from our eyes
And there will be no night
For You will be the light
That we see with unveiled eyes

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev 21:3-4

happy belated christmas!

2011-12-26T10:33:00.004+08:00

Went for christmas+new year shopping with my parents last week. It was a good time because I get to buy a few things nyek nyek nyek :D

YAY! I like this one! I saw it at Parkson and was deciding whether to get it or not because it's a bit expensive. But I REALLY WANT THIS to start my 2012 :) :) so yeahh, I bought this!! Actually I saw another one which is Mr.Bean's Teddy as front cover.. wanted to get that too but I've learnt about opportunity cost in Economics - which simply means I need to let go of something if I purchase another thing! :p

This will be Phang Carmen's 2012 journal :)
Tidak sesuai untuk tontonan semua lapisan masyarakat..because it's private! :)

One thing I really really like about this book is that I can 'tick' my mood :D :D :D then it makes my reflection so much easier, don't you think so? :p

Study week starts now! Time to chase after time and study like a mad cow :/

moo mooooooo!
moooo-i-need-moooo-good-mooooo-food!

surface

2011-12-22T22:46:00.008+08:00

Sejak kebelakangan ini, saya tengah belajar perkara yang baru. Saya mendapati bahawa bukan segala hal dapat difahami dengan melihat pada permukaan sahaja. Budak-budak pun tahu pengajaran ini I rasa "Jangan menghakimi buku dengan melihat kulitnya". Tetapi pernahkah saya mempraktikkan pengajaran ini?

If she doesn't do this this this means she is that that that.. If she is doing that that that means she is this this this..
but sometimes it's not just what you think it is lah.

You may think that it is the person's responsibility to explain himself or herself.
But not everything can be explained.
You won't know how heavy, how tiring, how painful that person is feeling.
What if it is not that person's position to explain things?

I'm learning to see things not just with my eyes
but to see them with my heart too.

And one thing I know, no matter how we're feeling or what we're going through,
God is someone who can do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we can ever imagine
that's why He is called God.

God, I believe.

brother bear

2011-12-17T21:13:00.006+08:00

I smsed my brother who is in KL, telling him that my house modem is spoilt and asking him what I should do..after a while, he called and told me to search for the old modem in my room. Of course, it was not helpful :/ but it was nice of him to give me a call.. and remind me that I have another brother in KL who will entertain me when I call for HELP! (my eldest brother helps me when I get lost in Penang, he serves as my GPS). I sent my bro MMS sometimes - when I think my face is cute, when I took his car for car wash, when I play with Reon, when I eat good food, etc.. but sometimes I just can't wait for him to come back..and irritate me as usual.. Dia macam perempuan because he always spend so much time in the toilet combing his hair! and he is SLOW macam perempuan. He always nag me for not tidying my room and his car.. and shakes his head whenever I start dancing at home.

I don't like separation. at all.

miss my niece too

Nevertheless, I'm thankful. I'm grateful. because my family is the best-est gift from God.

Is christmas really christmas?

2011-12-14T09:52:00.008+08:00

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:20-21

With You.

I was just reflecting

What would it be like

If my life is without You, without You

I would be speaking vulgar and behave rudely

I would be finding security

In things that are temporary

I would struggle through circumstances

Pretending to be strong n’ courageous

I would be chasing after my selfish dreams

But I’m glad, so so glad

That my life was never the same

The moment I met my Saviour

He calls me by name

And He said, “I love you my daughter. I love you my Bride.”

How could I not change, with You by my side

How could I not be transformed

To be more like You, to be more like You Jesus

I learn to speak life now

I learn to be better every day

I find myself in You and not my another crush

I still struggle when problems hit me

But I remain strong n’ courageous

because my God, He is with me.

M e r r y C h r i s t m a s!

happy birthday fong wan!!

2011-12-12T18:08:00.005+08:00

To the cutest person ever born,

THAM FONG WAN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :) :)
*belated one day* I'm sosososo sorry that I cannot make it for your celebration yesterday because I had to dance for church ladies' event. was there since 5pm yesterday. Walau bagaimanapun, this post is dedicated just for you!! :)

I just want to say a big THANK YOU to you for being who you are -Ms. Tham :) I don't understand why you always say I'm such an encouragement to you.. Personally I feel you're a greater encourager and you never fail to teach me how to love others. You will always take the extra miles for your friends. This friend of mine has a very big heart for people :) and she never fails to see things positively and always learn to see things through God's eyes. Indeed, she is awesome because God created her to be who she is, AWESOME! :)

Fong wan, let me tell you something.. You're beautiful just the way you are! :)
Thanks for being such a great friend. I pray that you will continue to grow grow grow grow in your walk with God :D I believe God will use you to touch many more lives as you learn to trust Him more :) In our weaknesses, His strength is even more evident! blessed birthday!!

plastik berharga 20 sen

2011-12-06T23:35:00.005+08:00

I went to Tesco just now to buy some stuff for PKA christmas celebration in USM tomorrow. I held 8 medium packets of fruit cakes with my two strong hands *yalah tu, strong tau..i didn't take basket*, ran to the cashier to make payment.

Cashier: Tesco card?
Me : Tak de. Saya nak plastic.
Cashier: Plastic kena tambah 20 sen.
Me: Ya ok.
Cashier: *pass me the plastic* teet teet teeet
Me: *pay money and walk off*

While I was walking, I looked at the receipt. RM 44. "Eh, how come he didn't charge me 20 cents for plastic?" Then I said to myself, "It's ok lah, Carmen. 20 cents only lah. I lazy want to walk back already.. 20 cents only, please lah you."

......................................
........................

I walked towards the cashier..

Me : *waves* Hi, tadi saya tak bayar lagi untuk plastik.
Cashier: Ohh

Actually, it's not about how much the plastic costs... but because deep inside I was convicted to give back something that I shouldn't take.. whether it's 20 cents or RM200, if it doesn't belong to me, it should be given back. I know the cashier doesn't know (maybe he also doesn't care lah) but my God sees. It's really not about me and the cashier, but me and my God.

I just want to learn to honor my God in things that I do.. I don't want to compromise, at least I shall try.

Jin!! screams

2011-12-06T22:42:00.004+08:00

Congrats to Jin who won 'TVB's Most Improved Actor 2011' award yesterday!! (this line is for you, joanne!) *cheers*
I'm so happy for Jin! :)

'When the lights come on' music video :)
I think it talks about how a young boy indulge himself in clubbing, drinking, etc.. then towards the end, he begins to realize that life has a greater meaning than all that..
may it speaks to you too :)

And also, Jin will be acting in one of my fav tvb series!!!! yayyyy, i can't wait!!! :D

updates after busy weeks

2011-12-03T23:47:00.007+08:00

They took hours to wrap my 'present' but it took me only 15 minutes to take them out..with the help of 3 cleaners who have sympathy on me.hahahaa anyway, appreciate your 'hard' work! :D

Seriously, hard work. haha

I'm now a registered voter! :) Proud to be a malaysian, tanah tumpahnya darahku! :)

My cheeky niece is getting fatter! I can't afford to carry her more than 10 minutes.. D:

Reon : I enjoy playing with my ku che! *laughs*

when the lights come on

2011-11-30T01:01:00.002+08:00

Jin's new song! :D *likelikelikelikelikelikelike*

"Things that once were normal to you start feeling strange
You realize the world is kinda upside down
Time to readjust, plus we must shine now"

"I was never perfect, never claimed to be
in due time it will all be planned to be"

By the way, Jin just replied my tweet! hahahaha

iammcjin Jin

@phangcarmen Glad the music speaks to you! Praise the Lord :)

High school musical :D

2011-11-24T01:06:00.003+08:00

:) I was youtubing.. and saw this video :D
I remember we danced this song before during one of our girl guides' gathering! High school time! We actually danced almost one whole day to synchronize ourselves! I can't really remember the steps already.. it's a sign of aging.. this was.. wait i think 4-5 years ago!! Funny :p

Let go

2011-11-23T00:12:00.003+08:00

How can I learn to rest in Him unless I learn to trust in Him?

Let go, Let God be.. GOD.

21st Nov and i'm 21 years old

2011-11-21T02:42:00.005+08:00

Received a cross pendant on my birthday from my beloved parents :) :) I told God before, that I didn't want to get myself a cross pendant because I want my parents to buy for me..and they did.. without me asking or telling them what's in my heart :) Isn't God great? :)

I was blessed even before my birthday :) Received gifts from Joanne Tan the Pig and birthday dinner from Moy Wei Sern before my actual bday :) Aku sangat disayangi ramai..hahahaa thanks!

Yes, you can laugh at my dumb face!
Thanks Monica, Try, Bota, Abel, Derek, Audrey, Catherine, Tien Hui, Melanie and Michael who came to 'SURPRISE' me despite the busyness, tests, assignments, etc :) appreciate your time and effort!

Having said all these, I hope that today will be a day of giving rather than receiving. Maybe because I have been receiving all these years? hahaha, and I hope that my presence ON EARTH will truly be a blessing to others.. 21 years old is a very significant age because.. I can now register to vote and do something for this country! :) YAY!

2011-11-20T01:26:00.002+08:00

I kept thinking and asking myself, "Did I say anything wrong? Did I say anything wrong?"
until I received a message from a friend and knew that she was encouraged.
That one person made me stop thinking if I said anything wrong..
but made me thank God that He uses my weaknesses to touch one life.

It reminded me on how weak I am but still God can use :) because He is God.
True enough, the question is not whether God can or cannot..
but whether you are willing or not?

Nothing is impossible

2011-11-11T23:28:00.001+08:00

2011-11-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

We have a choice.
We can continue living as before and be part of a generation that has lost its christian voice in the society.
One that did not make A STAND on anything.
One that did not make A DIFFERENCE by being concerned and by serving those not from our community.
One that will probably graduate with a paper as a reminder that we've studied there for a few years and NOTHING ELSE.

Or we can make a choice to SIT UP AND LISTEN.
Let us be SHAKEN.MOVED.AWAKEN.
To SEE and to COUNTER the state of brokenness surrounding us.

>:(

2011-11-09T16:16:00.007+08:00

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....i miss my hair :(
Kenapalah aku nak memotongnya?
*ber-emo*

"No turning back. No turning back."

bless campus, bless others!

2011-11-08T23:05:00.004+08:00

Had the opportunity to meet up with two OKU students in USM last week. One was during 'bless campus' week and another one was a random appointment with Mike's friend, Aziz. Spent time with them over a meal. I was observing them..how they talk, eat, walk,etc. Traveling from one place to another place is a problem, going out to eat is a problem... reading is a problem... I realised that when I begin to look at the things or people around me, my problems become so small. Maybe next time before I start complaining about my own problems, I should be counting my blessings.. and to know that I'm blessed to be a blessing to others.

To be able to bless others is a blessing in itself. -MC Jin-

:) baby reon

2011-11-06T21:01:00.009+08:00

It's such a joy to see her grow..

from a small baby...

to a medium baby...

still medium baby...

to a fat baby

to a big fat baby

to bigger-fatter baby

to a bigger-fatter-but-still-botak baby

now.. botak-head-fatty Reon! :)
Reon: Ku che, I can now sit on my walker! :) I like to play the song 'Hakuna matada' by Timon and Pumba. I am not naughty, I am just active. :)

one thing i ask of you

2011-11-06T20:35:00.006+08:00

My birthday is coming soon! haha, if (if, if..if) you're thinking about what to buy for me *perasan* hAHAHA, i'm here to tell you a good news! You don't have to get anything for me :) just need to help me to sign the petition letter to the Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dato’ Seri Najib Tun Razak, to take a stand against forced labor and human trafficking in Malaysia and to ask for a more strongly protected environment for refugees and asylum seekers.

I'm very fortunate and blessed. I have a shelter, education, food, clothes, car, etc.. so I don't really need anything anymore. But these people, they are not.. they have to fight for their basic needs. Let's do them a small favour.

Sign the petition letter!
Make a difference!

http://www.change.org/petitions/wake-up-malaysia-protect-refugees-and-asylum-seekers-from-forced-labor-and-human-trafficking

respond, not react

2011-11-06T13:44:00.003+08:00

While I was worshiping God this morning in the sanctuary, I saw this little boy jumping around. But I didn't really bother because I was worshiping God, the whole congregation were worshiping God and I was standing right in front (because of dance). The music was quite loud too so I didn't really hear him. Then suddenly he came a little bit nearer to me and I can see from his lips and gestures, he said 'Shut up!' I was shocked.. but instead of reacting, I thank God, that I responded. Instead of dragging him out of the sanctuary (which is how I will react if i choose to react :p), I prayed that God will raise him up as a worship leader to lead the church into worship when he grows up!

Just music

2011-11-06T00:29:00.002+08:00

it’s quite plain to see
without music I don’t know where I’d be
now I’m feelin’ like I’m finally free
but this ain’t just music to me

it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now
this ain’t just music

see me and Hiphop have quite a deep history
a relationship filled with much joy and misery
started out as strangers soon became friends
got exposed to rap music at the tender age of 10
maybe 11 but let’s not get technical
took me on a journey that I never expected to
embark on like tryin’ to see with blind eyes
no idea what was in store for me at all time flies
now I rise nearly 20 years later
pushin’ 30 my careers just goin’ into labor
what I’m tryin’ to say is no need to research
what you are witnessin’ right now is a rebirth
I don’t write songs just so I can write songs
cause the right song’s impact is quite strong
less random punchlines more great rhymes
I’m tryin’ to change lives the way God changed mine

it’s quite plain to see
without music I don’t know where I’d be
now I’m feelin’ like I’m finally free
but this ain’t just music to me
it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now
this ain’t just music

music can be a platform for self expression
how to overcome struggle learnin’ life lessons
even though to just fall back is so temptin’
I’m all about movin’ forward progression
reality is just somethin’ that you can’t deny
it can make you laugh and it can make you cry
the lies are often unseen by the naked eye
and they’ll sell you anything just to make you buy
quiet as keep we influenced heavily
overlookin’ lyrics busy caught up in the melody
next thing you know you naturally sing along
deep down you realize that something is wrong
blindfolded mind is bein’ molded
but it ain’t your fault the only thing promoted
on the regular contents flooded with nonsense
so the question remains can you hear your conscience?

it’s quite plain to see
without music I don’t know where I’d be
now I’m feelin’ like I’m finally free
but this ain’t just music to me
it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now
this ain’t just music

they say it’s just music but I know better
once upon a time I would listen to whatever
now I know never underestimate the power
it’s eatin’ up my soul I ain’t tryin’ to be devoured
it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now

Well said, Jin! I mean, well rapped! :)

You are the reason

2011-11-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

Keep running!

2011-10-30T14:48:00.001+08:00

You know what..running this race is not easy. Many times, I fall again and again and again.. and again. But each time when I fall, I want to get up becoming stronger than before. It's not going to be easy.. but it's going to be worth it!

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

pls vote, pls?

2011-10-29T01:49:00.004+08:00

I can't understand this.
Many people who are eligible to vote are not registering as VOTERS.
Seriously if you want to see change, change begins with YOU.
Stop looking around and see what other people do, for goodness' sake!
Many people are saying 'It's okay..I'm just one of the many million voters'
Do you know that some people are dying to see change? because their life is not as easy as yours? because they may not have good education like you're having? even basic necessities like ELECTRICITY WHICH YOU're taking for GRANTED? CLEAN WATER SUPPLY? I MEAN, C.L.E.A.N water supply which you can get so easily whenever you turn on the tap.. some people are still using water which look like teh tarik! You have not seen, does not mean these people do not exist.

Can we, chinese, be more outward looking?
Please?
Stop being so cina.
and start being a MALAYSIAN.

MC Jin!

2011-10-28T14:15:00.003+08:00

Jin's testimony

yay, MC Jin! :)

historical day

2011-10-27T13:29:00.006+08:00

Before......

After.............

aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2011-10-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

I seriously feel like rapunzel now. my hair is soooo long.

Gonna do something to it SOON.

2011-10-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

He calls me friend!

2011-10-18T00:14:00.007+08:00

"Hm.. Jesus, my friend?"
I always look to Him as my Father, my God, my Lord, my redeemer, my healer, and the list goes on.. but when was the last time, I actually talk to Him as my friend?
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend on the phone. She prayed for me and reminded me that even when nobody understands how I feel and what I'm going through.. Jesus knows. Jesus is my friend. Jesus is my friend! *ting*

Sometimes, even your closest friend
wouldn't understand what you're going through.
But this Jesus who laid down His life for you, He knows.
He calls me friend! :) :) :)

leaders' training retreat

2011-10-15T12:46:00.001+08:00

Wanted to update on Leaders' Retreat Training long long long long time ago but didn't really have time, was very very busy ever since sem started.. I will try my best to recall what I've received :)

I was very blessed by Annette who came all the way to Penang to share during leaders' retreat sessions. :) It was one of the best leaders' training! :) She is very personal and 'deep' in a way, hahaa The things that she shared was so timely for me as well. You know, Ever since I entered into USM, I always believe that greater things have yet to come. I have big dreams :) because I know my God is a big God. But I think I have been very veryyy task-oriented. I want to do things, great things for God..so I push others to do the same without caring about how they feel or what they think. Maybe one most important thing from this retreat is that I'm slowly changing my focus..from being task-oriented to people-oriented. I am. still. living and learning! :)

VMS, vision and mission statement.

Excos, CGLs and ACGLs.

This game is about 'travelling eggs' from one point to another point..by catching and throwing to your group members. Some eggs were broken during the game..

These eggs are like our cell members. They have names. They are fragile. They are important.

:) we played many games actually.. but I lazy wanna upload all.hahaha

We are all many parts of one body.. with different functions.

This retreat reminded me on what God has told me before I joined the CF leadership team. Servanthood starts at home. God has to remind me many times hahaha aku ni stubborn and forgetful, and it's not easy :/ but I cannot be serving so much outside and not serving in the family. My family need Jesus. My light has to shine. Jesus demonstrated to me how servanthood is like.. it is about going down.. to the lowest level and wash each others' feet. This can be done only when we know our true identity in Christ, our unshakeable identity as Sons and Daughters of the Most High.

2011-10-15T01:16:00.001+08:00

'retweet' @wilson moy :)

choose lah

2011-10-13T12:30:00.006+08:00

Do you know that we have a CHOICE?
God gave everyone a free will, a choice.

Forgiving someone is a choice.
Loving someone is a choice.
Refuse to be offended is a choice.
As much as we can feel the way we feel (sad, discouraged, etc), we have a choice to either dwell in our feelings and emotions or CHOOSE not to.
Because we have A CHOICE.

Many times, I feel offended because I choose to put myself first before others.
Many times, I feel sad because I choose to allow my emotions to take over.
Many times, I feel sooo negative about certain things because I choose to believe in the lies of the enemies.

Today, I choose to learn.
I choose to learn to be positive. I don't know how, or whether I can, but I choose to try.
I choose to make a difference in people's lives.
I choose godliness. I choose abundant life.
because I chose Jesus.

How about you?

Ku dibri kuasa! Don't play play :)

2011-10-12T17:13:00.001+08:00

Ku diberi kuasa dari Raja Mulia
Menaklukan musuh di bawah kakiku
Kupakai kuasa dari Raja Mulia
Bila Allah ada bersamaku Siapa jadi lawanku

Sungguh besar Kau Tuhanku
Engkau perisai hidupku
Ku berdiri dengan iman
Iman dalam Yesus Tuhan

Kau yang memberi kemenangan
Ku bersorak merayakan
Terpujilah Engkau Raja s'gala Raja

2011-10-11T11:32:00.002+08:00

To talk with God, no Breath is Lost.
To walk with God, no Strength is Lost.
To wait for God, no Time is Lost.
Always trust in God, we won't get Lost.

2011-10-11T11:23:00.003+08:00

In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words than words without heart. - John Bunyan-

run with PURPOSE

2011-10-10T22:43:00.005+08:00

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
1 Corinthians 9:26-27

Yes, I will run the race
till I see Your face
Not by might, nor power
but by the Spirit of God!

PKA cell group

2011-10-10T10:24:00.003+08:00

My new cell group in PKA! :)

ang ang ang..ANGGUR BARU!
Go...
Being witnesses for Christ in Campus
Inculcating authentic relationships
Growing in the Word and Prayer life

Go...B.I.G!!

finger pointing?

2011-10-05T16:07:00.006+08:00

More than just pointing out the 'problems',
I need to learn to come out with solutions.

Because it is not about proving that someone is wrong or not good enough, to make them look bad. It is about helping them to see an error when it is there, and then helping them find a way to correct the error.

Because my God is in the business of restoring and building people up,
not tearing them down.

refreshed. renewed. recharged!

2011-10-02T21:33:00.005+08:00

HELLO!!! Haha, my last entry seems a bit emo? Actually I thought twice before I posted it.. then in the end, I've decided to share it because I want you to know that I'm just an ordinary human being just like you.. I can feel tired, angry, sad, discouraged, broken, hurt.. but my God is by my side! :) So I will get up and continue running!

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Just to update a little bit on what i'm going through now..

Few days ago, I had this impression : There's a season for everything. A time for everything. Then...

Ta-daaa!

In RGBC, we will be doing this together as a church. Give God 40 days.. :) I truly believe that God is extending His invitation to me, "Carmen, give me 40 days." Then I said to myself, "He deserves more than just 40 days."

Today is Day 1!

2011-10-01T00:53:00.004+08:00

For 2 weeks.

Physically and mentally, restless :(

2011-09-28T09:56:00.003+08:00

Though these are the days of great trial
of famine and darkness and sword
Still we are the voice in the desert crying "Prepare ye the way of the Lord!!"

Love is the key

2011-09-21T10:27:00.007+08:00

Do you know that it's easy to love those who are lovely? As long as everyone with whom we are in contact is nice, pleasant, easy-going, and kind, we learn nothing about love. These people are easy to love. But as soon as you pray for love--say the words, "God, teach me how to love"--someone will come into your life who is nasty, bitter, cranky, difficult, harsh, mean-spirited; because when you can learn to love that person, then you will have learned something about love.
(read more at http://www.mjyoung.net/bible/fruit.htm )

We tend to always misuse the words "I love you." Love is not just feelings.. It is a decision.. a continuous effort to show good to someone even when there is nothing in return. It is selfless, sacrificial and transformational.. It is easy to say those words "I love you." but it is not easy to live it out. I'm learning.. I know I can love because He first loved me. My source of love comes from God because God is love. People can deny religious activities..but they can't deny love.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—
and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

You are Good

2011-09-20T00:23:00.005+08:00

It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead.

Hebrews 11:17-19

I think God is testing my faith now. How much do I trust in Him? in His Word? In His promises.. I know I don't have such faith like Abraham had. I mean, he was ready to give up his one and only Son.. I don't think it was easy for him to take that step.. to sacrifice someone whom he loved so much.. but he obeyed God because he knew God is good. He knew God is in control. He knew God has the power to work even in hopeless, dead situations. He knew the God whom he worshiped. He is Yahweh-Yireh, a God who provides.
Will I trust God with the lives that are so precious to me?
Will I surrender to Him and say, "Have Your way, Lord" ?

Father, I want to have such faith..faith to believe that You can do the impossible.. and that You are Good.

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

2011-09-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

I just came back from Leaders' Training Retreat for PKA. I am so blessed! man, I went there without expecting to receive anything because I thought this time I will just be there to help out and do what I'm suppose to do for my subcomm.. presentation, bla bla.. but I have received so muchhh! A big thank you to Annette and Darshini who came to bless us! :) Especially Annette..her schedule is very packed but yet she made time for us.. She considers this as a privilege, so humble :) (I will post an entry on that soon when I get the pics :D)

I'm now planning dance steps for tomorrow's service. It's my first time dancing solo. Kinda scary but I just want to please God and worship Him with all that I am..all that I have. I'm not good at dancing.. really. Sometimes I wonder why am I in this ministry.. but in my weakness, I'm drawn closer to Him :) So yeah, God, help me to minister to You and allow You to minister through me! I loveeeee You, Pa! :)

In Him, I live, I move and have my being!

2011-09-17T19:42:00.003+08:00

"Doa kita mesti menjadi tindakan jika kita ingin perubahan menjadi kenyataan. Tuhan tidak mencari orang lain untuk melakukan perubahan itu. Dia melihat pada apa yang kita rela serahkan untuk membawa perbezaan dan Dia akan melakukan yang lain."

(extracted from NECF 40 days fasting and praying booklet)

It's good to be back!

2011-09-16T00:24:00.003+08:00

Back to school!!! Back to USM! :) It's good to be back! After 4 months of loooooong break, I'm excited for what God has in store for this sem :) It will be great because He is a great God!
His promises are Yes and Amen! Well, challenges are real..I'm feeling it right now even during this first week of semester. I'm learning to hold on to His promises, learning to allow God to work in me and through me..

Attended a class this morning, Principles of Finance. The lecturer is..quite funny. And when he wanted to introduce himself, he said this jokingly, "Actually I'm not that important right? What's most important for you is your grade." It hit me. It hit me because sometimes this happen to me when I'm overwhelmed with assignments and studies..

Father, I want to always focus on things that matter for eternity. Help me Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Is Jesus the Son of God?

2011-09-14T13:58:00.003+08:00

Check this out --> Jesus, my healer

L6A4 and U6A4

2011-09-08T20:25:00.015+08:00

They made F6 life so bearable!!! :) :)
Not just bearable la, enjoyable too :)
Looking back at how I went through F6 with this bunch of crazy people, I'm reminded about God's faithfulness in my life. It was during F6 that I found God..or should I say God found me? :) I remember very clearly that I prayed to Jesus and told him my struggles. It was quite hard for me because most of them speak in mandarin..and my mandarin is a bit cacat. I prayed that He will send me friends.And God answered my prayers :)

They are my answered prayers :)

Mr.Tan!! He is very nice.. sometimes strict.. always kena 'bully' by us.. :p cuz we always didn't pass up our homework and make noise in class hahaa But deep inside, I know he sayang us very much :)

Went for dimsum yesterday to catch up with one another! :) yummmmmm

This person is unimportant :p hahahaha

Peer pressure!

Logos Hope! and Yeoh Shu Hwa!

Logos Hope! and Ah Peng! :p

Their lives are precious to me
because they are precious to God :)

2011-09-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

use your brain, but don't forget..to also use your heart

2011-09-04T21:55:00.012+08:00

Is it history or his-story? - article by Zairil Khir Johari (The Malaysian Insider)

"After spending my entire schooling years in the Malaysian national education system, and after having earned a Bachelor’s degree in a Malaysian university, I was faced with a grossly unfamiliar situation. For the first time, I was asked for an opinion rather than have one written down on the whiteboard for me to copy."

"My mind had been liberated. From that day on, everything I read or learnt would be tempered with a critical assessment of the source. I began to yearn for alternative interpretations in my hunger for choice. The world was a buffet and I had been fasting for years."

"The key to opening our minds is to first remove our blinders. Thus, whenever presented with history that appears to be his-story, it is probably best that we ask ourselves: exactly whose story is this?"

When I read this, I can somehow relate to certain parts of the article.. I'm brought up in such a way that my opinions about things do not really matter as long as I get an 'A' for the subject. Mum always says this, "If you get poor results, you will not have a good job." (I agree to this only to certain extend..now that I can think better :p) For about 19 years, I follow blindly what my teachers had taught me.. I received, and I accepted them as truth.. I don't care, I just want to get A.

And being trained in such a way that I just need to copy what's written on the whiteboard, I've learnt to be spoon-fed..(okay, maybe it's just ME) I've learnt to wait for answers.. to be lazy...to accept things as they are without questioning the source. I've learnt not to use my brain.. to think. What have I learnt??? GAHHHH.
Is this what education is all about? man, I need to unlearn and relearn the right things.

The other day I was sharing with my friend.. I said, " I think USM somehow forces me to use my brain.. because I'm surrounded by people who will question me about things..especially now that I begin to take up leadership role in my CF. In a way, it helps me to think.." And she said this, "Don't forget to also use your heart." I couldn't agree more. Knowledge is good. It's important. I'm for it. But don't let the knowledge that you have hinder you from using your heart.

I'm reading the Book of Corinthians for my devotion.. have been doing that for the past weeks.. and just so ngam after she shared with me, I was on chapter 8 and this verse just stood out :)

But while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church. Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.
1 Corinthians 8:1-2

2011-09-02T20:44:00.002+08:00

"The challenges in our lives are there to STRENGTHEN our CONVICTIONS. They are NOT there to run us over."
— Nick Vujicic

2011-08-30T21:29:00.002+08:00

die dao le jiu bu gan ji xu wang qian zou

跌倒了就不敢继续往前走

wei shen me ren yao zhe me de cui ruo duo luo

为什么人要这么的脆弱堕落?

qing ni da kai dian shi kan kan

请你打开电视看看

duo shao ren wei sheng ming zai nu li yong gan de zou xia qu

多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去

wo men shi bu shi gai zhi zu

我们是不是该知足?

Be a 'Man'

2011-08-29T15:09:00.004+08:00

A true man is not someone who doesn't make mistakes.
A true man is someone who admits his own mistakes.
It's ok to make mistakes but
it takes courage to admit that you are wrong.

Come on Carmen, be a 'MAN'!

You have called me

2011-08-28T14:04:00.009+08:00

So I asked God, "Why?"

"Why, God?"

"Why me?"

....

.......

"Before I formed you in the womb
I knew you" Jeremiah 1:5

I am called.

fruitful trip

2011-08-27T18:41:00.034+08:00

Went down to Kluang and Malacca for a short but yet fruitful trip! :) All these while, I never really like traveling. I felt it's a waste of time.. and I just enjoy staying in Penang.. ok, to be more specific - Farlim. But this trip has opened my eyes, I begin to love traveling.. there's so much to learn when you travel! I received a lot by just looking around, observing and talking to people that I met in Kluang and Malacca. It is good!! :D weee!

Kluang
It was a great time exploring a small town. Get to know how people in a small town think and get to exchange views with one another on certain issues :) Attended Tien's Church on Sunday and met a few local christians there.. I'm encouraged by the christians whom I met in Agape Presbyterian Church :) May God bless this church abundantly!

Boys and girls, please don't try this at home :)

It was crazy! Woke up at 6.15am just to see Sunrise...
but it's Sooooooo beautiful!! :) I felt as though I already conquered mount kinabalu..
macam di Sabah tau.

Together with Tien's church friends :)

Kasih Yesus indah indah oh indah!

Bubur cha cha ice! nice!!

Malacca
I think Malacca is a great place! Quite similar to Penang but very historical.. Yay! I was there, the place where super stars like Parameswara, Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat, Sultan Mahmud Shah, Tun Fatimah, Puteri Hang Li Po, Laksamana Cheng Ho appeared hundreds years ago :) my favourite subject was Sejarah tau when I was in high school! :D When I was young, I thought of going to China and become Sejarahwan :p korek things like Shih Huang Ti's treasure or something..i love historical places, so i think Malacca is really really cool!

Preparing to ride on the boat!

Super nice cendol! likes!

This is nyooooo nyaaaa restaurant in Malacca :)

Chicken Rice Ball, because the rice macam ball.

Malacca Laksa..which looks like Penang Curry Mee :O

Satay Celup! Ce-----Lupppp!

The Famous Jonker Street! :)

A-Famosa!

Puchong, Kuala Lumpur
Had Awesome Plan 2.0 where 9 sweepers gathered together just to share their lives with one another and to encourage one another! :) Great time of fellowship, playing silly games and buat lawak.. so encouraged by their sharing and how they are applying what they have learned from SWEEP :) Gooooo Sweepers!

Makan!! (Monica was holding the camera)

Carol :)

Ernest :)

Awesome :p

Patrick Tien :)

Carmen Winnie :)

Wai Yan :)

Mr.Jared Koh :)

The funny Jai :)

Awesome plan 2.0! :)

In Christ alone

2011-08-27T01:59:00.003+08:00

What a timely song for me. This song was not inserted by me into the pendrive, but somehow..my brother has this song. And this song was played when I was on my way home from church.. Funny kan, he's not even a christian.. not yet, i mean :) I cannot explain what I'm going through now.. It's simply amazing how God uses Rev. Benedict Rajen to speak to me about the situation that I'm in. Amazing how God encourages me through this song. Amazing how God reminded me to depend on Him. To pray, to seek Him. Everything was just so timely..if it's not God, then what?

But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to Your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. Matthew 6:6

In every victory, let it be said of me
my source of strength
my source of hope
is in Christ alone.

open up my eyes

2011-08-18T01:01:00.008+08:00

Today, I was out with Sheryn, Serene and Rose to get Rose a new pair of shoes. Personally, I'm very encouraged by the both of them :) I saw how Serene helped Rose to wear her old shoes. She reminded me of the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet - Servanthood. I saw how the both of them helped Rose getting in and out of the car.. (I'm driving Satria now, so it's very VERY inconvenient) and also guiding her into the shoe shop.. I'm blessed and encouraged just by observing :)

I waited in the car because there was no parking. While I was in the car, I saw an uncle riding his trishaw.. I don't know what to call an uncle who rides trishaw.. trishawer? :S
I saw this uncle..and he was picking up a box from the dustbin.

And I begin to ask, "What is he doing with the box?" "Is he poor?" "Does he has a family?" "How long does he has to work each day under the hot sun?"
"Is the government helping people like him to have a better life?"

And this is not the first case. Nowadays, I will start questioning myself whenever I see homeless people, people who are not well-off, poor children, refugees... I think somehow SWEEP (Social Work Exposure and Embracement Program) has taught me to OPEN MY EYES and SEE the things around me, the community that I'm living in. Yes, was blind but now I see..learning to see. I cannot be ignorant.. I cannot afford to be ignorant, can I? Souls are crying out for help.

I was reading an article from Berita NECF that Tien posted on her blog.. and I think the writer is right. Perhaps instead of asking questions like "If there is so much unfairness, what is God doing about this?" or "Where is church in this?",

I think I should start asking, “What have you made me for, Lord, in such a time as this?”

What makes you happy?

2011-08-15T23:32:00.003+08:00

Went to 'The Penang Home' with Sheryn this morning. It's a home for old folks. She went there the other day with her mum, and so she brought me there today :) I just want to expose myself to old folks' home in Penang since I haven't really been there to get to know the people. We met this aunty, her name is Rose or Mooi Kuai in cantonese. Haha, so cute. We were talking to her and found out that she needs a pair of new shoes.. So we decided to bring her to get her a pair of new shoes this coming wednesday :) She is sooo happy.
And she likes to eat corn. haha, so funny right.. i mean, of all food.. Sheryn and I laughed. Sheryn will ask her mum to cook/steam corn this wednesday :)

My good friend was sharing something with me the other day, she asked, "What makes our generation happy? A new Ipad? A new Iphone?"

Well, for Rose, it's just... a pair of cheap shoes and jagung :)

hearts, protect them.

2011-08-15T21:11:00.009+08:00

I think i've posted this link last year. The five pillars of manhood by Pr.Jaeson Ma. It's basically about how men should love and respect women. As I was just re-reading it, I agree whole-heartedly on what he had shared. But I would also like to add on, I feel it's not just how men should love and respect women.. Women should also do the same... It should be both ways, since we are all so precious to God.

"A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness. This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sisters heart." - Jaeson Ma

I think same goes to how women should relate to men? Personally, I'm still learning and this post serves as a reminder for me. We should not intentionally give wrong signals or message and give out fake encouragement to the opposite gender. We need to be clear with our intentions. As a girl, i mean, as a lady *ahem*, who doesn't enjoy being pursued? But love is simply NOT SELFISH. The bible says - Love your neighbour as yourself. "The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.”(Mark 12:31). We also have the responsibility to protect our brothers' heart. If we need to flee from temptations, then FLEE. "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22)

The unfailing love from Jesus Himself is enough to banjir our hearts. May we open our hearts and let Him fill us. We are made complete in Christ! Don't let the enemies tell us that we are not valuable or less valuable compared to other girls, because of look, appearance, etc.. You are VALUABLE. We are all equally VALUABLE to God. We are all first class in His kingdom, no second class. Cheers!

Father, I pray that I will learn to protect my brothers and sisters' heart.. through my actions and words. So that I will not cause them to stumble and fall..but to be drawn closer to You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

So you would come

2011-08-14T22:14:00.000+08:00

Before the world began,
You were on His mind.
And ev'ry tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes.

Because of His great love,
He gave His only Son,
Ev'rything was done,
So you would come.

Nothing you can do,
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done,
Could make Him close the door.

Because of His great love,
He gave His only Son.
Ev'rything was done,
So you would come.

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small,
Broken hearts, broken lives,
He will take them all.

The power of the Word,
The power of His blood,
Ev'rything was done
So you would come.

where is the love?

2011-08-14T21:54:00.006+08:00

I may not have all answers to these questions. But this I know,

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 john 4:8-12

Where is the love? God is love.

We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. 1 John 4:19 (The Message)

Ps: I'm not a fan of Black Eyed Peas, but somehow this song spoke to me :)

Jadilah agen perubahan

2011-08-14T00:08:00.004+08:00

Sempena NECF 40 hari Berdoa dan Berpuasa, lagu ini telah menemani saya sejak hari pertama..dan telah menjadi doa saya untuk gereja-gereja di Malaysia :) Saya berdoa agar gereja (termasuk saya sendiri) akan bangun dan bangkit dan menjadi agen perubahan bagi meninggikan nama Tuhan Yesus!

Satu Suara - Juwita Suwito

Strip down, start running - and never quit!

2011-08-13T11:26:00.009+08:00

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3

Somehow, I'm excited for next sem! :)
3 more years in uni..
Jesus’ ministry lasted about three and a half years
when He was on earth..
John 14:12 says,
"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me
will do the works I have been doing,
and they will do even greater things than these,
because I am going to the Father.
And I will do whatever you ask in my name,
so that the Father may be
glorified in the Son.
You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."

Your promises stand forever, they are Yes and Amen!

2011-08-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

"The holiest moment of the church service is the moment when God’s people—strengthened by preaching and sacrament—go out of the church door into the world to be the church. We don’t go to church; we are the church."

-Canon Ernest Southcott-

malang tidak berbau

2011-08-11T20:01:00.006+08:00

Berikut adalah apa yang anda boleh lakukan jika anda 'terbakar' tangan semasa menuang air panas ke dalam botol :

1. Jangan menjerit..tahan sakit. Jika tidak, anda perlu tanggung segala 'nagging' nenek anda. Kemaskan tempat kejadian terlebih dahulu supaya nenek tidak tahu kemalangan tersebut.

2. Lari dengan segera ke arah tandas dan sapukan ubat gigi ke atas 'kulit kejadian'.

3. Bekukan tangan anda di sebelah kotak ice-cream selama 3 minit untuk menyejukkan kulit yang terbakar.

4. Exercise tangan anda dengan aktiviti menaip ketika update blog.

5. Tangan anda adalah dalam kategori "tidak serious" sekiranya anda dapat berbuat demikian.

kami kan kawan..?

2011-08-09T18:00:00.015+08:00

Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:14-15

It's so easy to be someone who constantly agree with what your friend does or says, even when you know that it's not right.(I believe truths are found in the bible because it is the very word of God) I realised that I'm not a good friend. I'm always tempted to avoid telling the truth especially if the truth might hurt because it would be easier to remain silent.. And sometimes also to speak less than the truth because I do not want to offend my friends whom I treasure.. I actually care how they view me, what they think about me.. what if they don't like me after I tell them the truth? For example, sometimes, even if it's not ok, I would say 'Ya..I think it's ok'... how can we tell our friends it's ok when we clearly know that it's not ok?? what kind of friend am I?? And sometimes because I delayed in telling the truth, I see my friends suffer.. I see them fall. Do I really love my friends? "Love" is not "compromise". "Love" is not saying "Yes, I agree with you" all the time. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

However, there is a fine line between someone standing up for truth out of love for the Word (the bible) and for the other person, and someone who knows that he or she is right and just wants to win the argument. So, before any talk of "speaking the truth in love", we are called to humility, which compels us to put others first.

We need someone in our life, who will not ALWAYS agree with what we do.. but someone who will constantly draw us closer to God and challenge us to soar higher with God. I thank God for placing people like that in my life, people who will correct me in love when I'm wrong.. although sometimes I refused to be corrected because of my own pride.. but I know it's good, I want to learn to accept corrections, so that I may be transformed to be more like Christ. May I also draw hearts back to God as God gives me the boldness to speak the truth in love.

Wounds from a sincere friend
are better than many kisses from an enemy.
Proverbs 27:6

sentuh hatiku

2011-08-07T23:04:00.005+08:00

Bapa, sentuh hatiku, ubah hidupku
Menjadi yang baru
Bagai emas yang murni
Kau membentuk bejana hatiku

Bapa, ajarku mengerti sebuah kasih
Yang selalu memberi
Bagai air mengalir
Yang tiada pernah berhenti.

This is my home

2011-08-02T16:29:00.001+08:00

si gemuk

2011-08-02T00:17:00.005+08:00

I have a new name for my niece!

Say hello to fatty Reon! :p

Tua pui po! :p

cis..geramnya! sayangggggg :) :) :)

CPR - Committee Planning Retreat

2011-08-01T11:07:00.005+08:00

USM CF
Persaudaraan Kristian Agape (PKA)
excos planning retreat,
indah khabar daripada rupa. hahaha

Don't be deceived by what you see :p
You only get to see our happy side not the how-come-meeting-cannot-come-to-an-end face :p
I think CPR is the longest hours of meeting that I've ever had in my entire life. Pecah record!
But I'm glad that we still can joke and buat lawak during the meetings :D Had fun joking, playing and laughing too! Most importantly, the direction that our CF will be heading next sidang!

May we expect great things from God and attempt great things for God! :)
we love you Jesus!

The Awesome plan

2011-07-31T23:09:00.009+08:00

Went down to KL for a week before CPR to continue 'SWEEP'. During SWEEP, we only visited 2 homes (attachments) because we spent 3 days for each attachment.. I visited St.Mark's Cozy Home and Shelter Home (a school for myanmar refugee children) during SWEEP. So right after SWEEP, I came out with this plan where we can cover most of the attachments and randomly named it 'The Awesome Plan.' :)

The Awesome plan schedule
Monday - Crisis Home
Tuesday - Shelter Home
Wednesday - Shelter Home
Thursday - United Voice
Friday - St.Mark's
Saturday - Malaysian Association for the Blind (canceled)

I will roughly share what we did during Awesome plan (requested by Joshua) and what I have received personally :)

Day 1
Crisis Home

On the first day, we visited Crisis Home. This is a home for individuals living with HIV/Aids. Jai and other sweepers organised a birthday celebration for a few people there. I think it was my first time having physical touch with HIV/Aids patients? To be honest, I felt a bit scared before I went.. I clearly know that Aids virus is not transmitted through physical touch, eating together, saliva, etc, But somehow I was just scaring myself by thinking too much.. macam orang bodo -.- I prayed. What would Jesus do? Then I went. As soon as I reached there, I felt so welcomed. They shook my hands and welcomed me with a big smile :) They are really friendly and nice..FUNNY TOO! I think I spent 80% of my time there just laughing!

BBQ :)

Helped uncle Fai to cook 'penang char koay teow' aka normal mihun :p

Birthday boys

birthday cake :)

We played games and did Worship too :)

I'm happy to see them smiling and laughing because so many times they are being discriminated and left behind by the community. It matters so much to them by just being there as their friends. Actually what hit me most was sweepers themselves. I'm impressed by some of them who actually have the heart for these group of people. They made the preparations for the celebration without complaining about anything. Great job guys!

Day 2 & Day 3
Shelter Home

I was excited to go back to shelter home after one month as I really missed the children there. But this time, they were naughty! Wahhh, I cannot tahan. I think many times I reacted in anger and frustration rather than to respond in love :( Some may say it's ok to discipline the children but I think it's also important for me to reflect on myself and my own heart. After my first day there, I reminded myself on the reason why I was there. My focus has to be constantly fixed on Jesus. I can always do social work with my own strength, which I don't want. My strength comes from God.
The next day, I taught them some basic mathematics. I enjoyed myself very much, somehow! Sayang them laa.. Emily kissed me! Lily kissed me! Received two kisses, happy lah! :D Sometimes memang naughty la but which kid doesn't? :) And there was this boy, his name is Apivit. He is soooo cute. I can't understand him 90% of the time because he only communicate with me by using body language as he can't speak in english... "Teacher!! Ee ee eee eh ee ah!"

Actually mereka semua budak baik lar :)

Carmen : What are you drawing? Who is this?
Emily : Jeee-sus!
Carmen : Ohh.. Then this?
Emily : Simon!
Carmen : Why Simon so short one??
Emily : *Giggles*

So what have I learnt during my visitation at Shelter Home?
One thing that struck me is when Teacher Fung said, "Our God is faithful in answering prayers." I was like Wow. A refugee who is seeking for refuge said 'God is faithful'. Apatah lagi budak seperti saya ini yang tidak kelaparan, mempunyai tempat teduh, pakaian cantik, pendidikan, dll. Give thanks with a grateful heart.

Awesome incident! Zhong Xiang's cf van jatuh longkang. LOL

Ta daa! Lesson of the day: Do not put first gear after you parked your car. Thank you. :p

Day 4
United Voice

A centre for people with learning disabilities such as Down syndrome, Autism, Attention Deficit Disorder, etc. I had a really great time there..again, most of the time just laughing! :D

Met Izzudin and Intan (members of UV) at Pasar Tani as we help them to sell the things which they make to support themselves. So cool! As I approached passers-by to help them to promote, I realised something. Many times, I reacted like most of the passers-by.. I do not have time for the needy, the disabled. Many of them replied me "I'm in a hurry" or just shook their heads even before I finish my sentence. So this is what I wrote in my journal, "Maybe we are really busy with our own lives..or maybe, just maybe we didn't really care..??.... If there's only one life that I can touch in my life time, then let it be one. May God enlarge my heart."

Perhaps one thing that I've learnt from them is their sincerity and transparency. They are very direct in their speech and all because they don't know how to twist their words or hide their feelings like many of us do. They just say thing as it is and I guess this is why they are so special :)

Helped them to make Raya cards.

Father, You love them just the same. May Your name be glorified even through them. May they find true wisdom, love and grace in You. In Jesus' name, amen.

Day 5
St.Mark

Going back to St.Mark gave me a whole new feeling altogether. Obviously, they couldn't remember me, lol. But seeing them again like visiting my own grandmas and grandpas. They were all so happy just because we were there. We didn't give them money or food, we were just there.

Uncle Chiew. I like him. He is very cute. As you can see, he has a lot of things on his wheelchair. He wrote his name on his pants, shoes, medicine, bottle, everything! so cute kan :D He is very nice to his wife too. He would wait for his wife outside the toilet, prepare bread for her, etc. So I kaypo and asked him about his love story :p He said,"Ngo lou ma chi on phai keh." (It was an arranged marriage by my mum) Then I asked, "A good wife right?" and he couldn't agree more. He remembered how his wife helped him and supported him through all the difficulties in his businesses when he was young. Ah, how lovely :)

Then, there is this uncle who is very sick. He can't talk.. He is always sitting on the wheelchair. Can hardly open his eyes. Then when we were about to leave, I walked passed him but suddenly he grabbed my hand so tightly.. I was quite surprised. I bended towards him and asked, "Uncle, mat yeh si?" (Yes uncle?) He didn't say anything. "Uncle, lei hou mou?" (Uncle, how are you?) He remained silent. I looked at him and felt so helpless.. He did not let go of my hand. I continued, "Uncle, lei yiu sun yeh sou." (Uncle, you have to believe in Jesus). He looked at me with his half-opened left eye without saying a word. I'm not sure if he understood but I prayed for him. I think sometimes even when we want to help others, we don't know how. But God can. He saw us even before we were born. He knows our names. Most importantly, He cares.

Hugged Allison before I left :) Sayanggg :) :)

Lastly, Thank you dear sweepers who joined the Awesome plan and also those who kept us in prayer. Indeed there is power in coming together, supporting, encouraging and building each other.
Thank you! :)

Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.

Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
it only leads to harm.
For the wicked will be destroyed,
but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.

Psalm 37:5-9

Reon Phang

2011-07-18T12:18:00.002+08:00

Haha. This pic always put a smile on my face.
My fat and cheeky niece!! :) rindunyer.

slow to anger, quick to listen

2011-07-18T11:59:00.005+08:00

"Quick to listen” was what James was advocating. Slow down judgment but speed up the understanding. Simple. But it’s hard. Because there’s so much within us—experience, reading, insights, lessons, tons of “wisdom”—waiting to ooze out and fix the “problem” before us.

Being “slow to anger” and “quick to listen” to me involves emptying oneself at least for the moment. It involves creating space for the “other” to simply be, for a moment.

Our role is more as a companion, to walk alongside those who are genuinely seeking to make sense of life in all it’s complexities. This act of “kenosis,” i.e. the emptying of ourselves, or by implication the restraint of or limiting our “power” doesn’t mean we jump into the mud of these complexities uncritically; but it does give the phrase “getting our hands dirty” a fresh twist.

When we are in the midst of this process, we will need to confront the insecurity and uncertainty it brings. But we don’t have to be afraid, especially when our faith is in the One who holds on to us (somehow and in some way!).

-Sivin Kit-

Wow. How true. At least for me :)

Truth that cannot be covered

2011-07-12T00:22:00.007+08:00

:'( so far, this is the only bersih video that made me cry. The people were standing for what is right yet they were treated like criminals. Heart-breaking.. People are often killed not by bullets but ignorance, inhumanity!!

Enough is Enough.

To you who hurt your own citizens when you're suppose to protect the innocence, to you who still think that Bersih has caused you to miss your weekend shopping, to you who said 'what's with everyone and bersih? it's such a waste of time' AND YOU WHO SAID THAT BERSIH has caused you to lose your 'RM 7 billion' profit by not being able to sell ice-creams a day (and the list goes on), I feel so sorry for you because you have eyes but do not see.

To you who walked and stood for what is right on my behalf and for the generations to come, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!! :') Thank you soooooooooooooo much!!

You have shown me that we have the right to stand for Justice
You have shown me that we have the right to speak up for the Truth
You have shown me the real meaning of 1Malaysia
Thank you!

Malaysians march together

2011-07-10T19:46:00.010+08:00

If this old lady is joining the Bersih rally to 'fight' for a better future for the next generation, I don't think there's any excuse for us (the younger generation) to leave Malaysia behind.

I think I never understood the meaning of our national anthem until last year when I saw a large crowd of young people lifting up their state flag and Malaysia flag during National Conference. Til then, I have never felt so 'Malaysian'.

Through Bersih 2.0, I don't just see young people from different states but malaysians from all over the world coming together with one voice, standing together for the same cause.

Malay? Chinese? Indian? Iban?
No!
There's only one race.
It's called the human race.

Kami semua,
anak bangsa Malaysia.

ONE Malaysia,
Hidup Rakyat!!

9 July 2011

2011-07-09T18:23:00.000+08:00

The immovable are moving.
How about you?

The time is now!

Bangkitlah anak-anak bangsa Malaysia!

Phang Carmen,
anak bangsa Malaysia.

(curi bro's brazil jersey from his closet :p)

WTH

2011-07-08T23:28:00.006+08:00

I met this friend of mine last year around this time I think? When I first saw her, she was sitting right opposite of me! (maybe because she thinks I'm awesome :p) Then so perasan you know, baru kenal less than 2 jam, already ask me to fetch her the next day to BE :p But I didn't reject her la because I'm just too kind.hahahahaa
and somehow we were in the same cell group..ah baru i terfikir! maybe she copy me! She always bully me :( and abuse me :( so sad.. maybe she is jealous, because i'm cuter than her..ahahaha but i choose to forgive her because I'm a good girl :)

Woon. Tien. Hui. I want to say Thank You!
For the encouragement, things that you've taught me and for sharing your life with me, whether it's directly or indirectly. I would like to be invited to your wedding in the future :p

Cina balik kampung kluang :p

I believe God will use you more than just producing brochures and flyers for NGOs in the future ...because you have so much more to offer! :)

use your batman watch to tembak si iblis!

untitled

2011-07-07T18:30:00.019+08:00

1. There are still many questions running in my mind even after SWEEP. When will I have answers to all these questions? Praying that God will reveal to me His truth and speak to me even as I go through this season of my life..

2. Going down to KL again on 17th of july to visit more places like Crisis Home, Refugees School, United Voice, Malaysian Association for the Blind and St.Mark. I'm excited :) Pray that my heart will grow to contain the community and even the nation.

3. I'm doing so much planning this month.
SWEEP planning, SEW planning
and CPR planning.Have to always remind
myself to do it with joy and a heart
wanting to serve God.

4. I can't find my yellow T-shirt, where is my one and only yellow t-shirt????????
So ridiculous, I just saw it before I left KL. now hilang.
MANA ANDA???? :(

5. I'm supporting Bersih because I don't like kotor!!

6. Tomorrow is my last day of work. HOOOOO------RAY!"Be patient with me..as I learn to be more like Christ! Thank you :)"

ajarlah aku servanthood

2011-07-07T16:53:00.008+08:00

My grandma asked me to go out and buy some fried potatoes.
I was like... 'Why didn't tell me earlier..I just came back..always like that'

"Now ah?"
"Can or not?"
Aiyohh... Servanthood Carmen, servanthood!
"Can or not?"
:( idontwantbut "Ok-ayy."

Came back with the potatoes and saw her eating happily :)
hmm.. gembira nampak :)

Ever since I've decided to serve in PKA, there are 2 things that God has reminded me:
1. Servanthood starts at home
2. Washing each other's feet

My Sifu showed me that being a leader is about going down to other people's level and serve them.

"And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you." John 13:14-15

My Sifu came to serve.
Not to be served.

ps: actually I look up to van drivers in churches and those who are constantly serving behind the scene.A big thank you to all of you :)

i'm coming home

2011-07-07T00:01:00.004+08:00

“But then I will win her back once again.
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her there.
I will return her vineyards to her
and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope.
She will give herself to me there,
as she did long ago when she was young,
when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.
Hosea 2:14-15

So close, I believe
You're holding me now
In Your hands, I belong
You'll never let me go.

indeed working life is not easy

2011-07-05T23:29:00.001+08:00

Queen has already started working since last wednesday. but i think tomorrow is my last day of work! HAHAHAHA why? because i'm too awesome for the job. hahaha. actually the company is only looking for somebody to help out for a short period. Since I'm flexible, so I accepted. Basically what we do is check overseas exam papers sent in by markers. Yup, I'm working at Magnificent Freedom :) My boss is very nice and she is a christian too. She never scold me... even when I ask her the same thing again and again (my forgetfulness is not helping me!) My colleagues are nice and helpful too! :) kena bully from moy wei sern only :( huhu but I feel stress because we need to concentrate on what we do..like make sure there is no mistake.. if not kesian the student kan. so yeala, this work doesn't require me to use my mouth :X itulah cabarannya.

people are often killed not by bullets, but ignorance.

2011-07-02T11:03:00.000+08:00

Why should you care?

2011-07-01T13:15:00.003+08:00

Modern Day Slavery?
Yes, it still happens today.

"With an earth like this, who needs hell?"

These days they attack me
even in my home
why then do they say:
'there's no place like home?'
I am robbed in my playground
raped in my school
bombed in cinemas
bus stations
flea markets
and shopping malls
I am the target
no matter who I am
is there a safe place for me to play?
please show me the way

I need refuge
yet no place on earth is safe
your government says
I can stay for awhile
yet I am harassed
manhandled
embarrassed
in your airports

I may work for your people
yet I can be whipped
if my boss does not have my papers
from a human being
with dignity
I am reduced to an animal
they call 'the undocumented'

how can you call this place earth
for me it's a big battle field
sometimes there are no guns
but too often I am killed
not by bullets
but ignorance
by hatred
discrimination
racism
inhumanity
pride

sometimes it depends on
which side you're on
take sides they say
as the ones without sides
are the ones hurt the most

so I took sides
and it seems there is no difference
except for the battle of egos

with an earth like this
who needs hell?
no one speaks anymore
all want to play safe
but to play safe for you
is to put me in danger
yet why should you care?
thinking of others is not compulsory
these days, such attitudes
are as scarce as the land we all seek
as elusive as the word 'peace'.

(Susan Loone, 03May06 Bangkok)

2011-06-30T01:13:00.005+08:00

I'm never good at maintaining friendships.
I can't remember when was the last time I'm still that close to this best friend of mine...
We used to talk about everything under the sun...
and explored everything under the sky.
Since when things started to be different?
Can it ever be the same again?

Me like to take things for granted.
Me need to change.

280611

2011-06-29T11:56:00.002+08:00

The one thing I ask of the Lord
the thing I seek most
is to live in the house of the Lord all the
days of my life,
delighting in the Lord's perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
Psalm 27:4

Thank you Justin Yong and Jessica Lim for the 'surprise' :)

new grace every morning!

2011-06-28T11:28:00.003+08:00

If God is the potter and we are the clay,

Then it's never about our own ability in trying to overcome,
It's about His power working in us and through us.

And this power, is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead! :) Come on children of God, receive it! You have the power to Say NO to ungodliness and say YES to Jesus!

Believe it and Fight from the winning side! :) :)

RAWR!!!
(I don't bite, I speak life!)

Apa dia cinta?

2011-06-26T00:28:00.004+08:00

"It is difficult to love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not just based on feelings but a determination to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward."

The 'people' are you and I

2011-06-23T18:39:00.004+08:00

Just in case you are unaware of what Bersih is all about, check this out:

Raja Petra Kamarudin- Give me one reason why I should march on 9th july 2011.

"So now you know why we need electoral reforms. And now you know why we need to march on 9th July 2011. And this is not about the opposition. It is not about Anwar Ibrahim either. It is about the rights of the people of one-man-one-vote."

I am not into politics.
I am into Malaysia. My home.

My Sweep Experience

2011-06-23T02:10:00.000+08:00

Sapu!!! :) Went for SWEEP which stands for Social Work Exposure and Embracement Program, organised by FES.

I'll just give a summary about what had happened for the past 2 weeks.. :)

For the past 2 weeks, I was exposed to the current social issues in Malaysia, for example :
human trafficking, refugees in malaysia, disabled community, neglected community, poverty, HIV and Aids, etc. and also given the opportunity to meet these people and hear from them firsthand. It was indeed an awesome yet heart-breaking exposure. I've received so much more than what I actually expected from SWEEP. Thank you FES staff - Joshua, Lian Cui, Jane, Swee Kit, Karyn, Richard and Darshini for investing your time and effort in my life! :)

Day 1. SWEEP started off with an ice-breaker. Semua masih malu ketika tu.. :p

One of the activities during SWEEP opening.

Understanding physically disabled. Everyone was given a 'disability'. Mine was one hand cacat. Si tien was given the chance to travel on wheelchair.

And the challenge was to walk down to petaling street (together as a team) and get some ingredients to cook for lunch. yeah man, so cool right :p

The uncle is so nice, sponsored us some free chicken meat :) maybe because im cute.HAHAHA

Then we Cooooook! Padan muka ini orang..hahahaha

1st week of my attachment was St.Mark Cozy Home. Had fun exercising, talking, laughing, eating, singing and folding clothes with the old people :) It was my first time hearing stories from old people there who are being left behind by their family members.. one of them has 11 kids.. one of them told me, she wants to go back to the Lord. Deep inside, I asked many questions.. why would their family members leave them behind? there could be many reasons.. but since when family is about focusing on each other's weaknesses or strengths? I thought family is about accepting one another for who they are...? Please don't leave them behind... :(

My partner, Allison :) She likes to read.. She's very nice and caring but very forgetful! I miss her.. She forgets my name every 10 minutes! haha so cute..So when I was about to leave, I said to her, "It's okay la if you forget my name, but remember your God..So who is your God??" "Jesus!", she replied. "Clever girl!" :)

2nd week of attachment..I was being sent to a school specially for the 'less fortunate' children.. Taught them (children from 4 years old to 8 years old) how to make some basic sentences, eg I am hungry. I want to eat.HAHAHA :p I've received so much more than what I've given :) Very nice bunch of kids.. very cute :) I like to see them worshiping God and praying to God :)

They only get to eat meat occasionally. Some of them don't even know what is superman when Swee Kit asked. They never get to watch tv, I guess.. Despite all the challenges that they are facing in their lives, they still put their trust and hope in the Lord :) especially the teachers there.. So encouraging!

Attended BM service on Sunday at SIB Brickfields! Thank you for having us there, so blessed!

Inilah KLI...KLCC! yang dikata-katakan! :p

Understanding vulnerable communities. Greatest enemy is not disease but despair!

Games! :)

Chillax~

SWEEP CLOSING

Sweepers 2011, being 'sent' out....

To lay down bricks and to build a bridge of reconciliation.

Steph and I :) my hair macam ada highlight..nampak tak nampak tak?? :D

The cute CarmenS :p

UV!

USM-ers!

Compassion ought to be followed by an action.

Father, I pray that You will always
teach me how to show compassion.
To love mercy.
To stand up for those who cannot stand on their own.
To speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.
Give me the boldness. Empower me.
In Jesus' name, amen.

of all places, why Malaysia?

2011-06-22T18:52:00.002+08:00

Read this article :
I will not give in to fear - Lim Ka Joy

I kept silent for a while thinking about the concept of democracy. “Daddy, all of us have friends who are apathetic. But the irony of some is that they complain, and complain about how Malaysia is being run, and when it comes to actually doing something, they sit back and do nothing. We have to change their mindset. We have to get them to register as voters and come polling day, we have to get them to cast their votes.”

Do something. For a better Malaysia.